I used to be that party girl in High School who would get the invite to each and every social event and pretty much showed up to each one because my social self desired to get out there, meet people, and just have fun everywhere I would go.
I met my best friends in high school. The ones that were there for me through everything…. family problems and losses, breakups from stupid boys who were a complete waste of time, holding my hair back while I threw up from drinking too much, I mean the list goes on but I had a group of friends that I could always count on and we all had each others backs.
I was 14 years old when I met all my best friends and some people are so surprised to hear that 24 years later, I still talk to each and every single one of them and we are still all as close as ever.
I have to say, I am the one who is surprised to hear from people I’ve bumped into that their friendships with their ‘best friends’ died after High School. I mean those were the years that you really learn about yourself and you go through the craziest things in life just to get you prepared for being an adult. How could you just lose those connections once you turn 18 and begin your life?
OK I’m not one to judge… I get things happen. People move, people fight, people get into relationships and totally blow off the friendship – wait….
Interesting when you think of it, huh?
The main reason (that I personally have discovered) a lot of these friendships have ended is because people meet someone, they fall in love, they have families, grow careers, whatever it may be..but they totally move on from a friendship and focus on their lives!! AND THAT’S OKAY! WE ALL HAVE TO GROW UP SOMEDAY, RIGHT?
I often post pictures on my social media accounts of me and my girlfriends and people have asked us…. “How do you guys do it? Like, stay friends that long?”
It really got me thinking………
- We do not talk everyday at all. We’re older now. We have jobs, careers, kids, goals. Oh God, if I tried to put in the effort to have conversations with my friends everyday, I would drive myself crazy. Don’t ever feel obligated to be the one to reach out and say hello so often. Just know, as long as you keep in contact when you have time… your friends understand because they are in the same exact position as you!
- We schedule our get-togethers in advance. Get on a group chat with your friends as the main platform for communication between all of you! It’s the easiest way you can all communicate at once without feeling like you each have to play messenger for another person of the group. Scheduling in advanced – at least 1 week – gives you all time to make arrangements such as getting a babysitter or rescheduling your appointment at the Gym with a personal trainer….or whatever! I know in High School or fresh out of it, it was so easy to text your friends and say let’s meet up right now and you would all be able to make it. You gotta make the transition into being adults with busy schedules. It’s totally OK to “pencil” your girlfriends in!
- I keep my friends updated with major news in my life. I’m not one to go on social media to blast my personal life… but now and then, if there’s totally huge new news-like when I got pregnant with my son-I get right online and let everyone know because it’s the easiest way to tell everyone what’s going on without having to individually explain your situation to those who ask. The number one advice I have however, is to make sure that you tell your closest friends FIRST what’s going on before you go online and tell the world. These are the same people you used to spill all your juicy gossip to and spill your heart out to for advice…… if you got some HUGE news, TELL THEM! Not only do they actually deserve to know, but trust me….. your friends share your excitement with you and literally pump you up so much. It’s just positive energy that you totally need in your life.
- Don’t miss HUGE events. We are adults, people! We are BUSY! However, if your best friend is getting married, having a baby, throwing a wedding or baby shower, attending a funeral for their parents, or even throwing a party celebrating a work promotion…..Do not miss these! Try your best to arrange your schedule and make sure you can be there 100%. It’s so heartbreaking to be celebrating such a large life event and not have the people you love most there. IF and only IF you truly cannot make it (out of town, family emergency, etc.) send a gift that will make it there before or ON the day of the event. At least you’re there in spirit, and it shows you truly were thinking of them.
- Reminder to self: Always be you. I know when we get older, our whole life changes. Us party people may have calmed down quite a bit…. maybe we cut down on alcohol, or retired the potty mouths we once had, or even had shifts in our sense of humor. Whatever it may be, you are still you and that’s why your friends were friends with you. Just because you go a few weeks without talking to some of the most important people in your life, you don’t have to be shy or act as a stranger around your friends.
I know this post might be common sense to a lot of you. But truly, honestly, I have had so many people ask me how I do it…. keep the same friends. I can give advice and tips, but the truth to it all is, I am so blessed that these people have always and still want to be a part of my chaotic life.